Gabriel's Books for Little Angels

This is our 3rd year raising books for CMC Main (where Gabriel was born).  You can still purchase books through amazon or another retailer or you can donate to our
youcaring site and we can purchase books in bulk straight from the publisher at a discount and no shipping costs.  A $9.50 donation covers the cost of 1 book and the credit card surcharge on the site.  

The hospital staff has shared with us often how meaningful these books are to the families.  These books provide a precious moment parents can spend with their babies as they say goodbye and they can take the book home as a beautiful keepsake.

Please consider a donation!
Visit the link for more details.
Gabriel's Books for Little Angels

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

October is nearing an end, but I wanted to share a little about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  Although pregnancy and infant loss affects so many it is a very untalked about epidemic.  Approximately 25 % of pregnancies end in miscarriage, approximately 1 in 150 pregnancies end in stillbirth and roughly 24,000 infants die within the first year of life in the U.S.  It's sad that so many babies are lost each year and so little is being done about it.  Stillbirth statistics haven't changed much in the last 50 years, but many experts agree that many stillbirths can be prevented.  Research is being done on umbilical cord, placenta and blood clotting issues...enough to show that many of these can be prevented, but not enough that change is taking place in the care of pregnant women.  If you are interested in helping make a difference in stillbirth and infant death advocacy and research consider making a donation to an organization like First Candle.  After Gabriel died we were looking for a charity to donate to in Gabriel's memory and were shocked that so few stillbirth organizations existed.  We visited First Candle's headquarters last year and although small...they along with Star Legacy Foundation are making a difference in research and advocacy.

These pictures are from our visit to First Candle's headquarters in Baltimore last year.  Gabriel's name is on a leaf on their Tree of Hope!

We set up a memorial fund at First Candle in Gabriel's name for those interested in making a donation.  

Gabriel Memorial Fund

This month I served again on a parent panel at CMC to educate nurses on perinatal loss.  It is difficult to share our story over and over again, but I need to know that we are doing everything we can to make a difference.  Gabriel had and continues to have such a huge impact on our lives...I want that impact to carry on to others...I want his life to continue to make a difference!  They informed me that they are down to only about 30 books (from our book drive in the spring)... to think of each book as a baby lost is heartbreaking.  The need far outweighs the resources.  My husband and I have discussed setting up a foundation in Gabriel's name to provide resources for stillbirth families.  I know this will take some time so meanwhile we will continue to collect books for the hospital.  Since they are running low on books we will begin collecting earlier.  Consider buying a book for a stillbirth family to share with their child at the hospital and take home as a cherished keepsake.

Gabriel's books for little angels

I am thankful for the leaps and bounds the medical community has come in the care of stillbirth families after their losses.  Tom's parents lost their daughter (his sister) to stillbirth over 30 years ago.  Our experience was far different from theirs.  We were given time to spend with Gabriel, had footprints and pictures taken and treated with care and respect.  I can't imagine the pain of not even given the choice of whether or not I wanted to see or hold my child.  Levine along with Kindermourn also do a butterfly release each year to honor all babies lost.  I am thankful for the ability to publicly honor our child and for Tom's parents now to do the same.  We had bricks engraved at the Children's Memorial Walkway at the park where the ceremony is done each year.

When October rolls around each year I can't help but to think of all of the families grieving silently because the topic of baby loss makes others uncomfortable.  I publicly talk about Gabriel and our miscarriages and honestly don't care anymore if it makes others uncomfortable.  I sit and listen to others tell stories about their children...my children are not here with me on earth, but they are just as much a part of my heart as the woman with her two year old playing in front of her.  It's more important for us to honor their memory than to worry about how it makes others feel.

We've lost some relationships over the last two years, but we've also gained some beautiful new ones.  I'm grateful for those that acknowledge our family in its entirety.  Just the other day someone asked to hear more about Gabriel...did I cry? Yes, but it did wonders for my soul.  Remember...you will never remind a baby loss parent of their loss...I promise you they never forget and most are honored to talk about their sweet babies!!

A picture from October 15th-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day!!!

2nd annual Gabriel's books for little angels

This year we raised 62 books for CMC hospital!!!  Last year we raised over 130...so with both collections we have raised almost 200 books...that is almost 1 book for every baby loss family at CMC Main for two years.  They usually have over 100 losses a year (not including all the losses of babies in the NICU!!!).

I pray that these books help to create lasting memories for the families with their babies and a treasure that they can keep always.  Thank you to everyone that participated this year and last year to help honor our son...we are so grateful!

We are also honored to serve on a parent panel at CMC on April 24th to help educate nurses on baby loss.  We will be delivering our books on that day!

We really wanted to do something positive in Gabriel's memory and something that would help other loss parents...but we couldn't have done this without the support.

Please know that while we appreciate the donations we appreciate all of the beautiful encouragement that we've received...from the days following his passing until now. Dear friends and family that brought us food, sent flowers, cards...a few good friends even cleaned our home in those days following his death...the grief didn't end in those weeks following so I am so thankful for those that have weeped with us and continue to weep with us even now.  I have truly been blessed with some amazing people in my life and thankful for those that have held my hand along the way because most days you can't get through alone.   My heart is overwhelmed when I receive a card or letter from someone now...over a year after his death.  A few sweet friends sent birthday cards on Gabriels birthday and it means so much that he impacted their lives too.  I am especially thankful to those that are sensitive to our broken hearts and have treated us with such compassion over this last year...no judgement, no frustration...only grace as we continue to heal.  Thank you for all of the love, prayers and support!

Thank you to the following for their very generous book donations:
Joyce Ray (5)
Matt Sederburg & Cara Balch (5)
Ally Price (4)
Emily Abernathy (4)
Beth & Brian White (3)
Tori Springate (3)
Sherry Lee (3)
Jeff and Ann  Tolbert (3)
Cathy and Tim Anderson (3)
Jamie Ruzekowicz (2)
Tiffany Bailey (2)
Monica Smith
Stephanie Wade
Lucy Larmondra
Emily & Gray Riley
Stephanie Hahn
Sandra Etherington
Carol Valentine
Robyn Conkey
Katie Darst
Emily Keith
Katy Fitzgerald
Julie Phillips
Amelia Barrows
Christy Takach
Allison Megahey
Ludmilla Bullock
David & Mendy Henderson
Maria Chiarino
Linda Clark-Borre
Jamie Larmondra
Melissa Tapp
Tom & Susie Larmondra
Shannon McKay
Rebekah Zimmerman

Also thank you to Amelia Barrows for her donation to Gabriel's Memorial Fund at First Candle on Gabriel's birthday!  First Candle does research and advocacy in the areas of stillbirth and SIDS.
http://www.firstcandle.org
Gabriel's Memorial Fund

2nd annual drive for Gabriel's books for little angels

Last March in honor of Gabriel's due date we decided to do a book drive for CMC (where we delivered Gabriel) in his memory.  For those that don't know the meaning behind it, basically we loved reading to Gabriel.  I'm a teacher and always wanted the routine of reading to my children before bed.  We started that routine while Gabriel was still in the womb.  It was "our thing" and our way of bonding with him in the womb.  After Gabriel was born it seemed only natural to want to read to him, but we weren't prepared to lose him when we went to the hospital so we didn't have any books with us.  We looked up stories on our phones to read.  We felt the best way to honor Gabriel and give back to those who experience similar losses was to do a book drive.  We selected the book "Wherever you are my love will find you".  Our goal was to raise enough books so that every baby loss family at CMC Main would get one.  We wanted them to have a book to be able to share a special moment with their child and also a keepsake to take home with them.  Keepsakes from the hospital are all we have so everyone is so precious to us.

Thankfully last year we raised over 130 books...enough books to last over a year.  They had approximately 110 fetal losses in 2013.  The hospital was so greatful for the books and told us how much it meant to the families.   They are willing to purchase additional books that we are unable to raise with our drive so I hope that we are able to raise at least half of their yearly need and more is even better.  So our goal this year is 50 books in hopes that we come even closer to their yearly need of over a hundred.

You can purchase a book through the amazon link below that will ship directly to us or you can deliver them to me in person if you live close.  My Patriots family was so generous last year and I will leave a bin again this year in Brittany Keith's room for those that want to drop them off at the school.

Last year we received numerous books through Amazon with no names so please leave a gift note letting us know who the book is from.  Also, we chose this book instead of the board book so that we can place an inscription in front of the book.  If anyone finds a Spanish version the hospital would be interested in those as well!

We should be celebrating our son's birthday around this time, but we are thankful to have a way to show him how much we and everyone else cares about him and all of the babies lost too soon!

http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/3M0Y47I2MC7PD/ref=cm_wl_rlist_go_o_C-1

Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You

Tomorrow Levine Children's Hospital and Kindermourn are doing a butterfly release ceremony to recognize babies lost to stillbirth and neonatal loss in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month.   

After the success of Gabriel's book drive, they told his story at an administrators' meeting at CMC and then we were asked to read our book at the ceremony tomorrow.  We are honored to have a part in the ceremony, but I just wanted to take another opportunity to say thank you again for all of those that participated in our book drive in March.  

After seeing the positive response to the book from families going through our same grief, CMC would like to make this an annual book drive.  I miss my son terribly and not a moment goes by that I'm not reminded of his absence, but I am thankful that we are able to do something positive in his memory.

Our time with him was too short, but I am thankful that we were able to create some memories with him while he was with us.  My favorite memory will always be of our "family" time when we read to him in the womb.  This book drive is one of the few ways that I can think of that helps to keep Gabriel's memory alive and provides memories for other grieving families.

A few people that weren't able to participate in our book drive in March asked if they can still donate books.  We will collect books all year round, but plan to make as delivery to CMC in March because we raised enough books last time to last almost a year.  We will be working on an easier way to purchase and deliver books, but until then I've included our Amazon wish list link that ships directly to us.  Please be sure to add your name as a gift note because we received so many books that did not include names.  

http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/3M0Y47I2MC7PD/ref=cm_wl_rlist_go_o_C-1

Thank you again to the following people that made Gabriel's book drive possible.

Lucy Larmondra

Mike and Lisa Ensalaco

Dan and Arielle Larmondra

Tom and Susie Larmondra

Dave and Maureen Valentine

Carol Valentine

Related Services Department at Cabarrus County Schools

  Amelia Barrows

  Amber Silianoff

  Amy Channell

  Nancy Kiger

  Reagan Crummey

  Regina Beamon

  Sharon Antoszyk

  Lindsey Johnson

  Allison Megahey

Jill Spencer

Julie Phillips

Stephanie Bryant

Ally Betley

Joyce Ray

Monica Smith

Christy Takach

Joyce Camp

Anne-Marie Key
Bobbie Jo Migliaccio
Gretchen Baute
Heather Drye

Sherry Lee

Carrie Whitley

Heather Clarke

Laura Pennell

Tina Willis

Joy Lineberger
Michel Lapalombella

Brandy Mills

Melissa Tapp

Cindy Hill

Pat Konicki

Audrey Remkus

Amanda Allen

Chris & Mauri Booth

Rebekah Hart

Lindsey Pratx

Ludmila Pashaev

Sandra Etherington

Tori Springate

Karen Cameron

Stacie and Jeff Yoder

Beth & Brian White

Nicole Anthony

Becky Stebelton

Mialee Schmeltzer
Matt and Katie Taylor

Deborah Drain & Family

Erin Conner-Holschuh

Ashleigh & Chris Twedt

Robbye Fielden

David Cline
Paul and Gretchen Kubinksi
Seth and Shannon McKay
April Lewis (Pinedale Christian Church)

Rick and Becky Walton
Kaye Goldbach
Michelle Kovalchick

Gabriel's books for little angels part 2

We have already met our goal of 100 books today.  We currently have 104 books to take to CMC hospital and I know some of you have told me that more are on the way!   This has been an incredibly difficult month so I am thankful that we can do something positive and honor our son at the same time.  We will continue to collect books until the end of the month and deliver them to the hospital then.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone that contributed to our drive and I will continue to update our list.  I know that this list is not complete because we had several books delivered with no gift note attached so we don't know who they are from.  This list also does not include all of the beautiful people that have sent us flowers, cards, notes of encouragment and most importantly prayed for us! 

Each day comes with new and different challenges.  I'm so grateful to have people that are walking alongside us and praying for us. You have no idea how much your notes of encouragement mean to us. 

Thank you to the following people for contributing to our book drive!

Lucy Larmondra

Mike and Lisa Ensalaco

Tom and Susie Larmondra

Dave and Maureen Valentine

Carol Valentine

Related Services Department at Cabarrus County Schools

  Amelia Barrows

  Amber Silianoff

  Amy Channell

  Nancy Kiger

  Reagan Crummey

  Regina Beamon

  Sharon Antoszyk

  Lindsey Johnson

  Allison Megahey

Jill Spencer

Julie Phillips

Stephanie Bryant

Ally Betley

Joyce Ray

Monica Smith

Christy Takach

Joyce Camp

Anne-Marie Key
Bobbie Jo Migliaccio
Gretchen Baute

Sherry Lee

Carrie Whitley

Heather Clarke

Brandy Mills

Melissa Tapp

Pat Konicki

Audrey Remkus

Amanda Allen

Chris & Mauri Booth

Rebekah Hart

Lindsey Pratx

Ludmila Pashaev

Sandra Etherington

Tori Springate

Karen Cameron

Stacie and Jeff Yoder

Beth & Brian White

Nicole Anthony

Becky Stebelton

Mialee Schmeltzer
Matt and Katie Taylor

Deborah Drain & Family

Erin Conner-Holschuh

Ashleigh & Chris Twedt

Robbye Fielden

David Cline
Paul and Gretchen Kubinksi
Seth and Shannon McKay

April Lewis-Pinedale Children’s Ministry
Rick and Becky Walton
Kaye Goldbach
Michelle Kovalchick

Gabriel's books for little angels

I'm trying to find a way to honor Gabriel and make his approaching due date not so depressing.  Our favorite thing that we did when I was pregnant was read to Gabriel at night.  Maybe it's the teacher in me that wanted the tradition of reading to my child every night so we started while he was in the womb (and so glad we did and have those precious memories).  When we were at the hospital after delivering Gabriel we wanted to read to him, but we didn't have any books with us.  We looked up the words on our phone so we could read to our sweet boy.  So I thought that a great way to honor Gabriel would be to have people donate books to the hospital so that they can give them to the parents that lose their babies so they have something to read to their children and a great memory to take home with them.  I've been in contact with the hospital and I need to send them copies of possible books so that they can take them to a committee for approval in two weeks.  I really hope that this is something that they want to do because I really want to do something uplifting for Gabriel for his due date.  Next month is going to be hard...the 14th is his due date and my birthday is the 21st...I remember thinking I wanted Gabriel to hold out an extra week so he would come on my birthday so I would have a great birthday gift.  I had no idea how things would turn out, but regardless...Gabriel is the best gift I've ever been given.  I'm heartbroken because I didn't have enough time with him, but I cherish every moment that I did.  He changed my life forever...and he truly was a gift!

UPDATE!!!  CMC approved my idea and we will start collecting books now!  The book that we want to collect is called "Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You"  Although this book was not written for this situation, the title says it all regardless. 

Gabriel, I love you little man and hope that you can smile knowing that you are being remembered in the best way that I know how! Now let's see how many books we can raise. 

For those that want to purchase a book here is a link to my wishlist on Amazon.  You can also find the book at most Target locations if you want to give me the book in person.  http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/3M0Y47I2MC7PD/ref=cm_wl_rlist_go_o_C-1

 I hope to collect all of the books at the end of the month so that we can take them all to the hospital at once.  Our goal is to raise 100 books!