Need You Now

A few weeks before Gabriel's passing Tom told me about a song by Plumb that he heard while traveling.  The day after we returned from the hospital after losing Gabriel Tom looked up this song and we felt it really captured how we were feeling.  We've both been really struggling with our feelings towards God (mostly anger) so the lines like "I want to believe there's meaning here" etc. really strikes a cord because right now my faith isn't strong enough to say Yes, I believe there's meaning here...only I want to believe.  Anyway, the words in this song really speak to where we are. 

On Monday after we got the results from Gabriel's tests we got in the car and this song was the first one to come on the radio.  Was it a sign?...I don't know, but I have started to feel a little resolution as to what happened to Gabriel which in turn help with my anger towards God for taking him.  Now though admist my grief we are presented with new challenges and concerns about adding to our family in the future and it gets me angry at Him all over again. 

I'm still talking to God in hopes that He's really there and in hopes that my baby boy is sitting with Him in Heaven...I'm not as sure as I used to be, but more than ever I NEED to believe. 

I posted a link to the song and the lyrics.  Maybe you are also in a place where this song speaks to you too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ylnx0NA9X4


"Need You Now (How Many Times)" by Plumb

Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
So, I guess you're tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take

How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

I need you now
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
I need you now