Some days I'm just sad. Yesterday I was sad all day...I walked Lily in the rain and cried the whole walk...felt like God was crying with me. Again, today just feel like a wave of overwhelming sadness just came over me. No special day, no triggers, no reminders...I just miss my son...just sad that we are missing so many special moments.
I have nothing new to say today...and I don't most days. Honestly, what else can be said at this point...I'm not bound to discover any answers, not going to rid myself of pain, and definitely not going to stop missing my son...so what could possibly be different next week, next month, next year?!?!
People say "time heals all wounds"...That is a cliche that I will NEVER say...it's been almost 4 months and the pain is still there, the wounds still feel fresh...nothing really feels any different. In the last 4 months I've learned how to cope. I can go a day or two at a time without falling to complete pieces, but then I do and the cycle starts over. I don't believe these wounds will ever heal...I think that you learn what bandages to use.
I talk to Gabriel a lot...just really hope he can hear me or that God gives him the message cause I need him to know that I love him.
This sucks~
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