the unlucky percentage

My doctor called yesterday to let us know they were unable to get any test results on our last loss.  My OB told me we had a 80-90% chance of getting conclusive results.  The OB that did the procedure said she has only had 3-4 in her career come back inconclusive.   So once again we fall into the small unlucky percentage.  So once again we have no answers for any of our losses.

Miscarriages happen in about 25% of pregnancies, about 1- 2% of couples suffer from recurrent miscarriages, less than 1% of pregnancies end in stillbirth.  I just wonder what the percentage of having recurrent miscarriages and a stillbirth and no results  are.

Even in my baby loss community there is envy...comparing your situation to others.  I remember joining a group after my first miscarriage and feeling lucky after hearing other people's stories.  Now, our story is the story that makes other people feel lucky.  I've met many moms that have had multiple miscarriages and I've met many other stillbirth moms, but haven't met a mom yet that have gone through both and have no living children.

How long do we have to live in the unlucky percentage?  I used to wonder when things would work out for us...now I wonder if.  I know that God doesn't promise an easy life for believers, but its so hard to watch everything seem so easy for everyone else.

 Right now I need to focus on how I fall into the lucky percentage...I am married to the love of my life...so thankful to have him to walk on this journey with...as hard as its been.