Yesterday we went to see the genetics counselor and we learned that it is possible the Gabriel didn't pass as a result of this chromosome problem. We may never know for sure, but even though one of his chromosomes was inverted it may be balanced and therefore no genetic material was lost or gained. We should know more once our tests come back in 2-4 weeks. Our prayers are that this isn't a hereditary problem so that maybe we can give Gabriel a sibling one day.
When we went in to see the O.B. last week he kept referring to Gabriel as "the baby" or "your baby" etc. The whole time I wanted to say "He has a name!". Yesterday one of the first questions the counselor asked us was if our baby had a name and then everytime she referred to him she called him by name. It's amazing how much something so seemingly small is so important. I think for some when you use his name it personalizes it and they don't want to personalize it...it's easier to talk about if it's not personal. I also notice though that those that have had a significant loss like this that I've met in online support groups etc. always refer to Gabriel by name...they understand...they know that he was real...that he existed...and that any conversation about him can be nothing less than personal to me.
Yesterday, the 17th was hard...Gabriel's angelversary! Today is just another day...another day without my Gabriel.
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